Your heart’s a mess
You won’t admit to it
It makes no sense
But I’m desperate to connect
And you, you can’t live like this
noooo
hahahahanot today
The signs as things my dad has said to me
Aries: “Tell the cops to wait, I’m playing Call of Duty.”
Taurus: “Fuck it, I’m going to Canada.”
Gemini: “COME HOME THIS INSTANT I ACCIDENTALLY MADE 144 COOKIES.”
Cancer: (playing cod) “I can’t hear you over the sound of me kicking all these twelve-year-olds’ asses.”
Leo: (pointing to a bruise on my hand) “Is that a hickey?”
Virgo: “Don’t tell your mom, but I’m happy for the gays.”
Libra: “Sad movies are dumb. I don’t want to pay ten dollars to cry for two hours. I do that every day for free.”
Scorpio: “I want the board to change my job title from CEO to supreme leader.”
Saggitarius: “The only reason I have a facebook is to embarass your mom.”
Capricorn: “I have a crush on Eric Dane.”
Aquarius: “I’m hiding from your mother because I just told her to fight me and I’m scared she’ll win.”
Pisces: “When I die, make sure I get a viking funeral. If I’m getting cremated, I’m getting cremated like a badass.”
The only one of these things worth reblogging
This would be classified as a fucking win
When u say Serengeti plains u ate essentially saying ‘endless plains plain’
Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.
BURN BAGEL BURN
OH WHY NOT?
I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.
Bagel what are your powers
FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.
THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD
I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD
The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!
so u can stretch hi chews
What should I draw on the last page?
Sorry for the low quality.
5 word prompts(finish em):
his breath had stopped, but
this man was to be
sooo… what are you, anyways?
too late, a voice whispered
you cried for that unknown
he cried, but you couldn’t
he used to, not anymore
why wouldn’t they leave him?
you forfeited your right to
#howimFUKINfeeling rn tbh
FUCK
I fukin wore the goddam uniform dress
When I was supposed to wear
Holiday shit
Fuck
I could have been wearing pants
But no
I
Was fukin uninformed
help
Smile
Do you ever smile
Simply because there was space
On your face
That you felt
You absolutely had
To fill?
Because your eyes were too small
(too sad, too tired)
And your nose had run off
To wonderland?
Where it no longer had to
Hold up your glasses or
Help you disguise your sorrow
And doubt
From the world
(for just one more day?)
That wondering world
That watched
As your tears
Ran down
Those big, blank cheeks
(splashed with freckles and all the raindrops in the sky)
And settled onto those lips,
Those horrible,
Horribly still lips
(whose owner had forgotten how, exactly, to feel)
That lay inert on your face?
That world wondered
Where the time had gone
And if it took you with it.